forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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