it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We left the knife in your bed.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
