The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize