i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
