And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
