So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Randomize
