You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
