I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize