capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Btw I puked in your glovebox
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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