Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
