Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
