what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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