Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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