if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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