Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
