it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
