girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
