I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
