wanna go halves on a baby?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
