Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Someone came in the potted fern
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
