I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
