First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
A+ Viking dick
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
