Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize