I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize