but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
