I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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