The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
