i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
