I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
