I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
