When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
