It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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