how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize