You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
