$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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