Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
