Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
These tits shall not be calmed
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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