he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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