Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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