508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Randomize