you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
