u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
