She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm having to shit out rocks
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