Christians are straight up FREAKS
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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