The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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