so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
