My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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