I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize