Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
