billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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