No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
