Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
