grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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