question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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