Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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