Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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