Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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