There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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