pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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