doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
