she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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